2004-08-19 - 10:35 p.m.
I feel like Orpheus, he was destined to take his new bride from the underworld, but the god Pluto said to him that if he looked back, she would be lost. At the last of the journey, he looked back to see if she was still with him; the path had become trecherous. Looking back, Orpheus was comforted to see her still with him only to suddenly vanish behind a wall of stone; he could never venture to the underword again, she was lost. It's hard to keep from looking back.
Tomorrow is a transformation, I go back to being a hospital worker in an ugly uniform. All the way till Monday when I change again to the student. I don't know how to change like that from week to week, but it is something I will have to learn.
We all hear the bad news that we want to hear because it is easier to be defeated than it is to be brave. Bravery predicates confidence, or faith...maybe just faith in something greater than your own power at work. I will go through these weeks and months trying to be brave, not defeated. The voice of a singer dead and gone reminds me of life's delicate nature. I'm even more reminded though of Dave's kind correction; that I might be free of debt to go and serve the Lord when time reaches its time. I believe that in three years after school, I will have ALL debt paid. Student loans, mom and dad, credit cards; I will then go and serve the Lord wherever He leads.
To think that Joe, Julie, Dave, Melissa, and I might go as a team in search of the Lord's plan for us. Diverse in gifts and methods, united in heart and mind. I'm going to work with that hope in mind. I've been asked what my plans are when I graduate, I can only say that the Lord has me waiting for His direction, I can say that I will train and prepare furthur for the Lord's call with a band of brothers and sisters somewhere out there...
That's something to look forward to.
