2004-08-20 - 10:54 p.m.
I just got done voicing my heart, but I decided to erase everything I wrote. Here's the meat of it. She and I are back to where we started before she came back, and she isn't likely to come back...if so, then not anytime soon. Delbert died tonight and I never got to say I was sorry, I never got to tell him I forgave him. I miss my guitar, and I am going to go to work tomorrow. Life is anything but mundane, it's good to know that some care even if others don't know how anymore.
I care, and it feels like I'm getting punished for it. Even so, I don't know a thing about sacrifice and grace yet, I'm just getting the idea of it. Perhaps someday I'll tell Delbert I missed him, and I will get my guitar back along with my heart; neither of those things seem to be in my possesion right now...I wait for something, I don't know what, but it's something big...really big.
He understands, you aren't done playing music, and she loves you more than she knows.
