2004-09-14 - 5:30 p.m.
Now that things are surely over, I wonder how she'll remember me. When she looks into his eyes and not mine...will she talk about me like she talked about the two before me? Will he see that regret in her eyes that I used to see? I just wonder...
Will I be remembered as being moody? Maybe she'll talk about how angry I was...that I never wanted to listen. The thing that really hurts is knowing that I'll be another Nate, another Dave, another thing that she would rather forget. That's who I am now, it's not going to change either.
Things like this happen and you cannot stop them. I feel regret like never before, but I can be certain that I was willing to try and change. I did want to change and be what Christ wants me to be, I did want a partner; but it was too late. I know I can't think about the things that she will say about me in the future, it's a pride thing, but it just hurts to know that I was another failed attempt at love, another loss. I pray we find peace.
I'm so very sorry
