2004-11-25 - 4:37 p.m.
There was a choir on the television today, they sang a favorite song of mine; moved me to tears. I had forgotten how much I liked singing. It's been a little tough trying not to be cynical today, but it's also been difficult keeping myself from being greatful. I'm in the laundry tonight, it will be easy.
It will be all I can do to not just pick her up and kiss her when I see her next. I have more restraint than that, but sometimes I wish I didn't. I've been blessed lately.
I'm alone today. It's romantic in a way. I like the idea of eating food from a can, little stove in the middle of a one room apartment...just seems like the stuff of books. We are all somewhere; holding our breath in the hopes that something inflamatory won't be said at dinner, watching football or doing dishes, seeing a movie, playing a board game in the kitchen with sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers. Some of us sneak up to our rooms and check our email hoping some lover has written us a love note. Still some might take naps, or quietly reflect while folding bed pads; we all have time.
I don't know if I'm thankful for the moment, or just the somethingness of everything that I haven't understood yet. It is important to live in the moment, but as children, there is a promised inheritance on this Earth too. The more I get down the road, I see laid before my soon to be grave the directions I had always been following up to that point. A wife? Kids? An ocean coast? Yes, and more...
