2005-07-10 - 5:10 p.m.
Now that I'm in the intercession focus group within the church, I can't say for sure that I even now how to pray. That is, I don't think I know how to pray for myself. It's been a sketchy week, and not for the most obvious reasons either. To be sure, it probably stems from a desire to escape pain and daily redundancy; I have to ask for forgiveness each time before I feel like I can ask for anything from you.
I want you to teach me how you want me to pray...better still, I want to learn how to talk to you like I feel for you. I might find that my feelings for you along with my rattled commitment are not what they should be, so sing over me, consume me with sight. I may see how beautiful you are and be undone; fix my heart's commitment to you too.
Teach me how to hear you, consume me with a desire for only the things that Heaven will accept with me. Let things die that must die so they can become the better I could never accept, let my heart open its door to you; you may see all there is and pluck the things you don't desire. Above all, to hear you, let me surrender. Fill me with contempt for my own desires, hatred for the things that fire will destroy.
Make this Earth the beginning of Heaven. Hear your people because you've given them reign. Hear your people because you are a kind ear. Hear your people because you said you loved us, and if you should ever say 'no,' help us hear your words of love in chorus with the answer.
Teach me to pray tonight. Teach me to let go. please.
